Iconic More Like Laconic, Am I Right?

Oh hey, didn't see you guys there. I've been busy with work stuff and also a ... shoot, I never remember how to spell this correctly. "Ŝⓞᑕ𝓲ⒶⓁ Ł𝐈𝔣ε?" IDK, it's been years since I had one of those. I've got more writing I want to do, but it's slow going at the moment.

Also: Happy Pride! Please join me in celebrating with arguably the most visible advocate for Pride and LGBTQIA+ rights in general: Gritty.

And speaking of Pride, The New York Times monthly crossword puzzle was co-constructed by none other than drag icon Bianca Del Rio. That's pretty cool! You love to see it. That said, I'd be lying if I said I was familiar with Miss Del Rio's work – my wife and I have only watched the more recent seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race together, not the earlier ones. Thankfully, NYT puzzle assistant Anna Kaufman has a handy summary for me. Anna?

If ever there was a worldwide run on sass, the first place to check would be the coffers at Bianca Del Rio’s place of residence.

... Look, I don't want to be a dick about it. I'm all for poetic license and I've been known to pad the ol' word count myself. But that's a 25-word opening sentencegraph that ... just ... what? There are so many overwrought layers here. There's no such thing as a "run on sass" and even if there were, I can't imagine it'd be "stored" in coffers. And "the first place to check would be the coffers at Bianca Del Rio's place of residence?" Could we not have just said "house?" This isn't a high school essay, things can be however many words long.

The rest is all fine and I'm excited to do the puzzle itself. But this sentencegraph made me laugh with its verbosity so I wrote a short little thing about it for funsies. Almost 350 words! Now who's the opposite of laconic?